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6/22/2006

Columns > News of the Weird

NEWS OF THE WEIRD

 

Controlling partner

Less than three months after one wife-as-sex-slave contract surfaced (in Iowa, for which husband Travis Frey in June was sentenced to 10 years in prison), Hudson, Wis., husband Kevin Anderson was accused of making his own sex-slave contract with his estranged wife, Kimberly O’Brien, which O’Brien filed as evidence in March in her pending divorce. The contract required O’Brien to call Anderson “Master Jon,” to achieve orgasm “ONLY” (emphasis in the original) by permission, and to allow her orgasms to be “controlled for proper training (and) teaching … good habits (and) providing motivation (and) physical or sexual energy.”

Cinderfella

A 5-year-old boy in Broward County, Fla., preparing to enter kindergarten, is believed by gender-identity experts to be the youngest kid in the country whose family supports his decision to live completely as the other sex (according to a May profile in the New Times Broward-Palm Beach). The parents doubt that the unnamed now-girl (dubbed “Nicole Anderson” in the article) is “just going through a phase,” because of “her” early, constant and insistent female preferences and comments, e.g., “I want the fairy princess to come and make my penis into a vagina.”

Plaster casts a spell

Ernest G. Johnson, 42, was arrested in Shreveport, La., in May after he, posing as an insurance company employee, roamed the corridors at LSU Hospital seeking to photograph women wearing casts. Said a police detective, “It’s like all he wants is to be in the presence of a woman with a cast on and have her attention.”

Snitch follows nose

In April, Elgin, Ill., police said they gave confidential informant Robert Bridges, 29, $300 to buy 7 grams of cocaine and sent him into a drug house for a sting, but later they got tired of waiting for him to leave, and they stormed the house. Inside, they found Bridges, intoxicated, with no money and only 2.8 grams of cocaine left.

Major pagan

In May, Nevada officials said they were hopeful of persuading the United States Department of Veterans Affairs to allow the family of a soldier who was killed in Afghanistan, and who is buried in a federal cemetery, to have a Wiccan symbol on his headstone. The department has approved headstone symbols for more than 30 religions, as well as one for atheists, but so far not for Wicca.

Million dollar baby

The newspaper Ha’aretz (Tel Aviv) reported in March that the Moqassed Hospital in East Jerusalem was under investigation for detaining a newborn baby for two months because its parents did not pay the bill. (The mother had given birth to premature triplets; the hospital allegedly let her take two home but kept the third.)

And London’s Daily Telegraph reported in April the hard-luck story of unemployed Darren Wheeler, 30, who had six of his teeth extracted at the Birkdale Clinic in Whiston, England, but before dentures could be fitted, the clinic converted from public health to private practice and said dentures would now cost Wheeler the equivalent of almost $5,000.

reversal of fortune

Last year, in order to soften the transition from an agrarian economy, the rural village of Renhe, China, offered to give farmers apartments in town — one-bedroom flats for single people and two-bedroom units for married couples. But in a fit of greed, hundreds of couples promptly divorced for no other reason than to qualify for two apartments so that they could rent one out. When officials learned of the scams, they modified the rules, according to a May dispatch in the Los Angeles Times, and turmoil resulted, as newly divorced couples failed to reconcile, leaving children in broken homes while husbands ran off with younger women.

No idiot left behind

The principal of Liberty Elementary School in Colleyville, Texas, authorized an enlarged photo of a nickel on this year’s yearbook cover, but with “In God We Trust” deleted so as not to cause offense — but then handed out stickers with those four words so that students could place them on the cover photo if they wished.

Sorry, No do-overs

Sarah Zabolotny, 29, who was in the courthouse in Buckhannon, W.Va., in March to deal with a speeding ticket, was later charged with petty larceny after she was seen on surveillance video folding up an 8-foot rug in the building and walking out the door. When a court clerk tracked her down, Zabolotny asked if she could just give it back and forget the whole thing, but the clerk said no.

And in Williston, N.D., in March, Ryan Wright, 20, was arrested for bank robbery, even though he insisted that all he did was walk in to the bank wearing a ski mask and demand money, before saying, “Just kidding” and leaving.

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