The producers of this lame-brained tie-in say they wanted to scrape the inch-thick mascara off the toy industry’s most infamous collection of anorexic prosti-tots and expose the faces of genuine role models shining proudly underneath. The result is a hopelessly confused Mean Girls-pilfering clique flick in which da Bratz show up for the first day of high school and immediately get pulled into separate social scenes defined by their individual abilities and/or interests. Realizing the error of their ways – a mere two years later – our heroines set out to prove to the school that it’s just as important to pick your BFFs on the basis of shared shopping practices. Calling that a positive spin takes some serious ballz – as does trapping Jon Voight in his most embarrassing role since Anaconda as well as staging a food-fight scene in which none of the slim-hipped participants hits on the obvious idea of purging to whip up extra ammo.